Saturday night 10 June 2023.
No I do not want to do it now but I do know that in a matter of weeks or months I will tell the nurse I’m ready to go home.
Greetings from the eighth floor of the Tahoe building at Renown medical center in Reno Nevada. I am sitting here in the dark I am dealing with the fact that my condition pulmonary fibrosis is taking a turn for the worse.
Today I was told that there is some sepsis in my lower left lung and they are giving me medication for that.
I am in my third crisis in six weeks
As long as I’m laying down my oxygen level can reach 99 and my heartbeat can get to 59.
Should I stand up for any reason whatsoever everything will crash my oxygen will drop to 73 and my heartbeat will go up to 124.
I’m not in any particular pain or discomfort but of course I’m a struggling intellectually and emotionally with the fact that I cannot get up and walk around I wouldn’t make it 2 feet.
The doctors are telling me that this current bout of pneumonia and stress very IPF it’s because of the environment in my apartment on Jones Street I cannot go back to the apartment even only for a few minutes because they very serious increase in the troubles that I have.
The doctors are telling me that they believe that I will recover from current exacerbation.
They already know that when the damage is done there’s no recovery.
On Monday I will be taken from here at Renown to the Rosewood rehabilitation Center which of course is just a middlebrow nursing home.
Original plan was that Dwight Poplin who has own respiratory problem. He will go up to the apartment and get a number of items for me and bring them to Rosewood.
Considering the conditions in the apartment I really don’t want to expose anybody yet there are things that I do need we’re going to have to figure out some kind of a plan for someone to go in there wearing a mask in able to protect himself and I get about a dozen items that I want but I do not want to sacrifice.
Over the last four weeks I am impressed by the amazing people who have come into my life and helped me. A social worker came into my life and she convinced Clark Realty to put down the floor rip up the old carpet that was a miracle number one.
Dwight Poplin came along and he willingly removed probably a ton of junk from that apartment my brother Bruce came from Florida I pretty much did the same thing in my wildest imagination I did not expect either of them to do anything and I didn’t even know much about Dwight until two weeks ago.
There is a possibility that There’s asbestus or traces of it in that apartment and exacerbated my condition over a period of several years we don’t know but I would like to have an inspector come and take a look at that place and see if there is any evidence of asbestos Dwight says they found traces of asbestos in his apartment when they were working on the wall about a year ago.
1140 Jones Street was built in 1964 and at that time of course they were unit especially the ceiling in order to prevent the spread of fires.
I do not believe the Clark Realty the owner or anyone else has engage in criminal neglect I think they’re just simply unfortunate consequence of things.
It is possible that the fire on July 4, 2015 started at all the troubles down at round Mountain at a barbecue I did not take it seriously and I did not wear a mask.
I was in St. Mary’s Hospital for 15/16 and 17th of 2015 that was the first time I went to the hospital because of bronchitis.
I think it’s safe to say that I have been suffering from from a respiratory illness since 2015 that’s eight years and I think that the IPFs simply the end product of this long struggle.
Being realistic I do not know how much longer I’m going to live but I think it’s safe to say that the day I’m able to get up and walk anywhere is over. if anything I’ll be in a wheelchair with oxygen.
I have no real idea what Rosewood is going to be like but I do know that it is basically my last chance I have to make it work.
I am hoping that I can get brownie my blanket on Jones Street my French press and the candy I have my medicine about a dozen stuffed animals. but I’m very fond of how to be able to get those things and have them at Rosewood they will be a little bit of comfort in my last days.
I want to get some photographs the cremains of Osmo Backo and a couple of other items out of that apartment that will be the challenge this week.
I know I know absolutely that I’m going to die very likely within the next 2 to 3 months I don’t think there’s any way to avoid it.
I have read on the Internet people who had IPF comes that day when you realize you’re done and you tell your nurse I want to go home and They know what to do.
I had hoped that I would see 2024 but I doubt it I think that I’m finally beginning to realize how sick that I really am and I’m not going to live much longer I’m not gonna leave the world screaming or cursing at the darkness.
I am not religious so I’m not worried about that but I do know that this is something that was developing for years but I did not understand it and now it’s too late.
I will accept my fate I will not be happy with it but I do know that it’s only a matter of a few weeks or maybe a couple of months yes my turn will come and I will tell the nurse I’m ready to go home.
